PCS Woe no more... House Wives have jobs too

One of the hardest things to prepare for as a spouse is a Permanent Change of Station (PCS) especially if you are leaving behind friends, family, work, school etc.

If you are a spouse that doesn't work, is a stay at home mom, and has no ties to the community, a PCS might not be as difficult for you, as it is for many others. You wait for months, in some cases years, to receive the news that you will be assigned to a new base/post/etc. that you hand picked with your significant other on their "Dream Sheet". Many are disappointed, while others are extremely ecstatic... and then you have those that are in between.

Me for instance, we recently received notice that we will be moving to Shreveport Louisiana. On the upside it isn't North Dakota, where I prayed every day we wouldn't go, and then again it isn't Georgia, where our families were just a few hours away, or overseas where I could get some more traveling in.

Once I learned about the new assignment I jumped right in. Adding FB pages, trying to make connections, looking for Realtors, jobs, activities, ANYTHING that would help me develop a connection to an unfamiliar place.

What I found put me in a slight stage of frustration. Speaking with many other wives, I learned that I am a rarity as I have no children. I guess I can forget about all the birthday parties or play dates. So I focus my energy on employment. In the FB groups I ask for any advice on the job markets for spouses with multiple degrees and experience and I get nothing. Not a single response. A few days later I got a FB message stating that "these groups are probably not the best places to ask about employment. Many of the wives here don't work, don't want to work, rather stay at home with the kids, or don't have the education to find a job". Talk about an empty feeling. I began to feel that in this unfamiliar place, not only will I not be able to find a job, I also won't be able to find friends for my much needed WINE NIGHTS!!

I recently moved back to the states after a year of Teaching English in Korea. I am not working now, and its hard to tell employers that you will be relocating in a few months. So within there is almost a "need" to begin working right away. I decided that I could possibly make things easier by finding employment in Louisiana and moving there before my hubby moves back to the States, so I began my feverish scavenger hunt for a job.

Contrary to popular belief, there are plenty of "Military wives" who don't live in the shadows of their husband's jobs and who enjoy separating their personal lives from the military happenings. I just so happen to be one of those people. I love to volunteer, help my husband with events on base etc., etc., but I have also worked very hard for my education, have learned a lot from my travels, and have an extensive employment history that is non military related, but with wanting to make everything perfect, by becoming knowledgeable, resourceful, and employable, I realize everything has been about me and how I am feeling. For weeks my husband has repeatedly told me to enjoy my down time, not worry about getting a job, focus on doing things that make me happy, etc. I didn't hear any of that. I was trying not to fit into the stigma of being a "military wife" with no real duties. Not once realizing what this PCS really means!

This move is significant because it will be the first time that we will live together in our first home that we own in our journey together.

We are no longer meeting and growing together in America
I am no longer in America while here is in Korea
I am no longer in America while he is in Italy
I am no longer in Italy with the man that I love
I am no longer in Korea while he is in Italy
We are no longer in love in Korea
I will no longer be in America while he is back in Korea
We will be together as one, in America, in Shreveport... Alone.

In this move we will have each other to lean on, and I have no problem with putting my work (needs lol)aside. My love will have his job, and will need me to take care of the move and everything that makes a home a home.

SO, what is my job now? well I made a list of things I can keep busy with to go along with my personal one, if you are trying to keep busy during a PCS, here are some things you can do:

Find a travel agency if the military isn't going to be moving your things
Find a Realtor
Begin looking for houses with your specific needs
Research schools in the area and neighborhoods
Research the city
Find Facebook Groups for the base
Contact the Family Readiness center
Locate the city website and check out their calendar for community happenings
plan and decorate your "new home"
keep track of when your spouse has an important turn in date for his their new base, and help where possible.
Check out the meetup groups
Map out how long it will take you to travel to your friends in the surrounding areas
Take time to gather your thoughts and write them all down, it is therapeutic.

** Next Blog: Tips for a successful PCS move **

Is this my job from now on? yes. Is it permanent? absolutely not. Am I happy? OMG YES

When my husband needs me, I turn into Super Woman and I love it! I am the woman he loves and married, the one who he knew would make a home for him if he provided her with one....and so, I find myself in a new chapter, an unfamiliar, confusing one at times, but a new journey non the less.
 I am learning that this "house wife" thing isn't as easy as people think, but will be okay for the moment.

He needs me... it gave me the freedom to finally breath, and in the breathing I found many entrepreneurial skills that I never knew existed... he may get his wish, and I may get mine too.


Until next time, if you find some down time, focus on what has always been inside of you.
CC

(Lasik Surgery) Glory Seoul Eye Clinic, Gangnam Seoul Korea

While living in Korea I came across a great deal for Lasik surgery.

I had been switching between glasses and contacts for the lat ten years, dealing with very frustrating blind spots that they would create, along with slipping down my nose, and the occasional misplacement. I decided that I would do a little research about lasik in Korea, as it was much more inexpensive than having it done in America.

I settled on Glory Seoul Eye Clinic. Below is the advertisement:

*Special Offer on Group Lasik :

1) Get 5% off For 2 persons

2) Get 10% off For 3 persons

To book Free eye Check -up : 010-7191-9769

cataract surgery : 200,000 won (with ARC & Health insurance),

800,000won (without ARC & Health insurance)

3)Special Offer for expat members living out of town]

For those of you visiting Eye glory clinic all the way from out of Seoul for LASIK (LASEK excluded), 

we will offer you free accommodation at a hotel for 1nights 2days.

To schedule, please inform us a week before surgery.

please note we only provide this free chance to those who have confirmed to come back to our clininc next day for follow-up after LASIK.

HOW TO PARTICIPATE :

1)'Hit'Going on the event page : 

http://www.facebook.com/events/291030187680294/

For more information :http://www.seouleyegroup.co.kr/event/ck/ck.html

Scheduling and having the surgery was very simple. I called to make an appointment and to my surprise than man who introduced himself as "James Bond" in a jokingly manner spoke great English. I believe his name was Jeff. 

My appointment was set for a Saturday afternoon, and I planned on staying in Gagnam for the night. To my surprise, my husband came up to Gagnam for the weekend and booked us a room at Yongsan Army Post. He came along with me on Saturday to hold my hand and be a great support system.

To learn how to get to Seoul Eye Group from the subway Gagnam exit, Click Here

We took a taxi from Post to Seoul Eye Group. (apparently the building holds other eye clinics, but Seoul eye group, on the second floor is the clinic I chose) Its a little difficult to find the building, so I called Jeff and gave the taxi driver the phone. We were there in no time. We began registration, and the eye checks took around 35 minutes. I was told that I had been cleared for surgery, and chose to have Lasik since the recovery time was quick, and the surgery less painful. 

To learn more about the differences, Click Here

I believe the 600,000 price is just to lure you in, because my price was 1.3 million won (about $1,100). after talking with other expats, they too said that they didn't know anyone who paid under 1.3. 

After I paid my fee, I was given clinic tag to go around my neck, and whisked away with my husband to another floor where the surgery would take place. when we arrived, the nurses escorted me to the first table and told me to lay down, as they partially covered my face and sterilized it. My eye doctor, Koo Ho Seob, who is also the director of seoul eye clinic, gave me directions on what would happen first, and then he began. 

*****A partial video of my surgery can be seen HERE (if you are not squeamish)*****

I had to focus on a light, while he inserted something that would go around my eyeball. He told me that I would feel pressure, and suddenly lose my sight, and yes... everything went exactly as he said. I just tried not to panic and held my husband's hand tightly. The Dr. said he was cutting the top layer of my eye, and making a flap. When all was done on both eyes, I was escorted to the next "bed", where they surgery wold then take place. I was warned to focus on the tiny green light at all times, but after layer and layer was being peeled, the little green light turned into a green blob. The laser itself didn't hurt, it just has a slight burning smell. Around 8 minutes later, I was finished. Contacts were placed in my eye to help with the overnight healing process, i was given some medication, and told to return the next day for check up. 

My afternoon and night was filled with pain meds and drawn blinds, but I could already "see" the results. 

The next day (Sunday), I returned to have the contacts taken out. I was given an appointment for the following week to check my improvement. I was to take medicated drops every 30 minutes and artificial tears when my eyes would get blurry or dry i came back the next week and I took a quick eye test, and BOOM! I had 20/20 vision :) I was given more antibiotics and artificial tears. I was suppose to come back the next week, but I would be back int he U.S.A by then :( Yet and still... everything is looking more beautiful than ever! One and a half months in, and no complaints! 

I would suggest the surgery, especially if you are in Korea and can get this great price!!

The facilities are clean, modern and everyone is very friendly. 

Until next time- Try "seeing" the world differently! -CeCe

Free Sams Club membership for military families until the end of "SHUT-DOWN"

With commissaries closing their doors because of the government shut down, Sam's Clubs around the nation are waiving membership fees for all personnel, families and retirees, until the shut down ends. 

If you live near a Sam’s Club and are in the market for bulk groceries, this could be your lucky day. According to Sam’s Club officials all military members will be allowed to shop in the members-only warehouse store for free until the government shutdown ends and the commissaries reopen.

“In appreciation for the service that military personnel provide our members and communities, Sam’s Club locations near military bases will waive membership requirements for military personnel, retirees and their families so they may continue saving on everyday goods and groceries,” club officials said in a statement.Edit 4:45 p.m. ET, Oct 3: According to a corporate spokesperson ALL Sam’s Club locations are now participating in the military waiver program. Please be patient with your local store as they pass word down to the employees answering the phones and your questions. Spousebuzz.com

The retailer said it planned to waive the fees at Sam's Club locations near military bases until the government re-opens the commissaries. (The announcement did not specify which Sam's Club locations will be waiving the requirements. Check back for more details.)

Need to find a Sam's club near you? Use this Sams Club Locator!

UPDATE:The military benefits have now been extended to all Sam’s Club locations, a Sam's spokesman said.

lorraine.mirabella@baltsun.com

Romance at N. Seoul Tower, Seoul Korea.

nseoultower.com

My husband and I decided to have a Romantic weekend in Seoul. As i went to work on trying to find the best places that couples should visit, N. Seoul Tower was on the top of everyone's list. I looked online, and found the best way to get there. By using the subway phone app (Subway app), we found the closest exit to catch the bus that takes you to the tower, "Chungmuro", where lines 3 and 4 meet. right outside the exit, we waited for the bus. before getting on, we confirmed with the driver and we were on our way!

The bus drops you off at a central location, where you then have to walk up a steep hill, so please don't forget to were comfortable shoes. Ones you reach the top, the views are amazing! It wasn't as packed as I thought it would be for a Saturday, so it made the trip much more enjoyable.

I absolutely Love that we were able to buy the "Love locks", write our names and add them to the thousands of others. it was truly a romantic place to be, and was a major highlight of our weekend getaway. 

P.S- They have an amazing burger place, and the views were gorgeous.

Until next time... Don't be afraid to get out there and ask for directions! -Cece

PLEX Hotel Seoul, South Korea

Hotel.com Link to Plex Hotel

My husband and I were looking to take a mini vacation, and wanted to go to Lotte world.N.Seoul tower etc etc. well this Hotel was not only perfect, but well maintained, cleaned daily, the staff was very friendly and helpful with directions, and the free snacks were a plus. 
We were able to watch movies in English and just enjoy the quiet. 

To say there are a lot of things to do in the area would be an understatement. 
Shopping, food, karaoke, bars, MORE FOOD, corner stores, and Late night Thai massages (Boran) That we especially enjoyed. 

This Hotel is a very short walking distance from the subway, and one stop from Lotte world. Everything you love about Seoul was just a subway ride, bus, or taxi away. 
We had a great time, and would stay again.

Until Next time.... Do a little traveling <3

Loving yourself... Part Two

This is a lil something from a book I am writing, enjoy...

Part one (Loving yourself...) was a little watered down, so that feelings may not get hurt... Part 2 is a little more honest, so check your feelings at the door. 

**This does not pertain to ALL people. 

Lately the Independent woman has been on the rise, I am loving and respecting this movement... but I HATE a certain answer I am given when I ask what their motivation for change was. The most common answers that I receive are "Because I know my worth", and "Im going to just do me, and when he is ready, then I will be"... Below you will find my honest opinion and response. 

1. Being an Independent woman means

       A. Not relying on others for support, care, or funds; self-supporting.

       B. Providing or being sufficient income to enable one to live without working

If any of the above do not apply... you are NOT an Independent Woman, BUT its ok NOT to be! Women find great joy in walking around yelling "I don't need a man, I don’t need a man!" YES YOU DO. Want to have a child? Want to have that masculine body pressed up against yours? Expecting doors to magically open, or seats to magically be pulled out? Need that bottle of pickles opened?" I’m not saying you can't do the majority of these on your own... but If you want to be treated like a lady, allow a man to be a man, because ALL men will NEVER fall into the "NO GOOD" Category. 

 2. Speaking of "No Good Men"

That the HELL is that???!!! Maybe you are "No Good" in choosing who you allow to take up space in your life. Do you think that by yelling out there aren't any good men in the world, so that all men can hear, will get those "Good Men" to notice you?! I can take an educated guess and say, hell to the naw. First, SHUT UP!... Second, please realize that ALL of the men in the world don't live in your vicinity, furthermore, I’m pretty sure you won't find the man of your dreams in the club, expecting for him to NOT stare at your legs and tits, and give you the respect and or notice the dignity that your parents instilled in you. 

Don't get me wrong though, Brothas in the club come correct. They smell good, dress as fly as they want to, and if they utter those dangerous words "What’s up ma"... our boobs perk up like radar, and knees knock just a tad, but what will you REALLY get out of this encounter? 9 times out of 10, it will be 2 songs to grind to, a phone number, and a hook up. (Shout out to that 1% who have found their love in the club)

Back to My topic

3. Do you really know your "Worth"

You can't put a price on yourself, unless you are selling something. This is one of my MOST hated statements. If you knew your "Worth" in the first place, you wouldn’t have allowed yourself to be in the situation that you find yourself in right now. We all make our mistakes, trust me... I know, but how many times are we going to make the same one, before we ask that vital question, "What the hell was I thinking?". 

My suggestion is to you is that you love yourself first. Simple huh?... no not simple at all. This takes time. What is scary is that I know women who don't even know their bra sizes, but expect men to buy them Victoria Secrets... you are NOT winning, that is NOT loving yourself. What are YOUR hobbies (Separate from, and not including him). What is your most inner desire (aside from marrying him, having his baby, and having a happy life... with him). What is YOUR 5 year goal (excluding him... do you get my drift?) 

Loving yourself, having a goal,  knowing exactly what you want in life, and what you need to get these wants are essential because, it informs him of how you need to be loved, allows him to support you when you need it the most, and know what you want so that he can assist you with your needs. 

At this point, I hope that you realize you are more than worth, you are priceless and if any man were to treat you less than this... not only is he not worthy of you, he doesn't know who you are, and doesn't deserve the time that you are giving him. This world is too LARGE to allow someone to make you think that their "love" is the best that you can get... NO ONE can love you better than YOU can. (But God)

4. What in the world is "Doing me?"

If you weren't doing you before, what were you doing? This has to be one of the dumbest statements I have heard, not only have I been guilty of saying this... I am guilty of once believing that I was "Doing Me". For one, I only said it to get a response out of him. When that failed, I went to "Do Me" and found myself doing the exact same thing I did every day... NOTHING. I only said it to make him jealous, but why? The response I got from him was silence... and he went on to "do him" as well and cheated... so where in this story was I winning? 

Stop kidding yourself. Say what you want to say and be done with it. Men are not mind readers, even though we may see them as super heroes sometime. We are too old to beat around the bush and play elementary school "what am I thinking?". This also goes along with knowing what you want. When you know who you are and what you want, it’s easier for you to communicate these things, and cuts out the drama. 

5. What are you waiting for?

Any man worth waiting for, will never make you wait. Not sure what else to say about that.

You have the right to be loved more than anything in the world, to feel appreciated, to be flaunted, bragged upon, and spoiled. 

You will know when someone loves and adores you by the way that you are treated, the same will go for those who don't love and adore you. I spent YEARS being in "relationships" where I was treated as if I was someone to be ashamed of. I was taken out only at night, They would only come over during the day, instead of going out to eat, we would stay in, where I cooked, Movies were always redbox or netflix, they would disappear days at a time... and almost all of them would say how I was going to make someone happy one day. Not only did I realize these things were not love, and that they were just ways to "keep" me around... I realized I DIDN'T LOVE myself

It is normal to want to take things slow, how slow though, is up to you. Women, we get to a point in our lives where we realize that if he doesn't know by now, then we have our answer, and the strength to walk away. Most times we get stuck because we feel that no one can love us better... again, Love yourself. 

6. Check yourself from time to time

My Aquarius heart keeps me in love and on cloud nine, thinking that nothing can touch it, clouding my judgments on the boundaries and limits I set for myself. Sometimes, we need to take "Me time" to keep us grounded, and on track. You can't get played, if you don't give up the controller. 

Till we meet again,

Love Yourself

Loving-Overcoming-Venturing-Enduring

Loving yourself... and knowing how to do a damn god job at it.

Rules that I had for myself as a single woman, and I love to share with young, single women... Enjoy!

1. Loving anyone more than you love yourself will leave you in a lot of trouble. This trouble can change your life forever. How can you set the standard for someone to love you, when you have a hard time looking in the mirror and honestly loving everything about you.

2. Give yourself a "sex standard"... whether its 90 days or a year, make it, and stick to it. Let’s be honest, sex is something we all need. It’s in our nature, but if you keep yourself open like 7-11, he will come around because your "open" not because your "porkchop" made him fall in love with your intelligence. Now this isn’t true for all men, but waiting before you give up the goods, will filter out those with bad intentions, but if you’re one of those women, who just want the sex, then go for what you know... and wrap it up... because women of color lead the country in HIV/AIDS. Men get to poke around the women they want, but we have to actually invite them into our bodies therefore into our heart. Im sure I don’t have to get into how sex works, and is different for men and women.

3. Establish yourself. You don’t need a man to do this for you. Im not telling you to go around yelling that you don’t need a man, cause truthfully, you do. We all do. We are not designed to do it all, nor were we created to be alone. All I’m saying is that it is a turn off to have a women feel that they are entitled to what is in a man’s pockets. If he feels like he is going to spoil you, then so be it. This brings me to my next point…

4. Have a “Man Standard”. You hold more power than you think. My brother in law told me that if it wasn’t for my sister, he wouldn't be the man he is today. If you are going to settle for someone who is content at his minimum wage job, not involved in any orgs, clubs, or extracurricular activities. Enjoys being home, watching t.v, video games, and staying in for dinner ONLY… then that is all you. If you can see your life like this for ever, then more power to you. But for those of us who work hard because we want more, we have to give ourselves standards. Personally I prefer a man who has graduated college, who is hard working, knows how to have fun and VERY social. He has to be kind, caring, secure with who he is, and can hold a conversation that keeps me laughing. As I have gotten older, I am more comfortable with a man who has children, but he has to be a GREAT father.. I mean, if you decided to have children with him… you need to get a preview. I know that all situations are different, so I am flexible, but it starts with a goal. Trust me, men have goals too… theirs may be a little superficial or cosmetic, but hey… They have them, and we either abide, or they get rid of us. So why should we settle?

5. If you are involved with someone who lives long distant, dont always offer yourself to travel. If you notice your buying tickets, renting cars, buying dinner, paying for movies, and catering to this person all the time, step back and look at this picture. Is it lopsided? I will only say this, anyone who really wants to be with someone will PROVE IT…. And in this case you have proven yourself ENOUGH.  

6. Have goals whether it be school, work, love, friends family etc. you have to have something to work towards, or you will be lost in this world unaccomplished.

7. Its hard to disrespect a respectful person

8. Everything you do now affects your future, no matter how you want to look at it.

9. DO everything it is that you want, because there is no such thing as you can’t. if there is something want, or somewhere you want to go… its called hard work/and prayer.

10. If you are seriously looking to be in love… don’t waste your time on those who you know won’t be around.  

11. Love doesn’t include someone telling you where you can/cannot go, what to wear, who to hang with, or threatening to break up with you every other day if you don’t “listen” to their demands. Being in love doesn’t always mean you are meant to be with them, and in most cases, your “love” is actually a “like” that you are forcing because you are afraid of being alone.

12. Don’t take ISH from anyone, friends, family, significant others etc. we know right from wrong. Don’t allow anyone to run over you again and again. Speak up and learn how to advocate for yourself. There is a reason you have a voice, and there is NO need to be afraid of anyone else’s.

13. Take responsibility for your actions. Telling a lie take more effort to cover it up than just telling the truth. Apologize when needed and show people that you are responsible by owning up, and trying to fix whatever the situation.

14. Carry yourself with some form or respect. If you choose not to, just don’t expect anyone to respect you.

15. It is never ok to have someone invade your private space and for them to touch you in areas where you did not give them permission. If this happens TAKE CARE OF IT IMMEDIATELY. Try not to have yourself in situations where a person might feel comfortable in doing so. I found myself in this situation while attending a party, and someone who I was seriously thinking about giving a shot, reached under me and touched my chocha, as I danced with a girl friend of mine. This was done in the presence of people I have in my everyday circle, and though alcohol was involved, there is no excuse. Telling this person to keep their hands off of me did not suffice. I was having fun, and did not say it with the authority I should have for lack of wanting to make a scene, but inside I was hurting and it affected me for weeks, until I expressed how I felt. Though he apologized, I will never see him as I did before, and if there was anything between us, it is smashed. We have to have respect for ourselves; you can’t allow people to think its ok to disrespect you.

16. Friends come and go.. no need to chase them, cause if they are not contacting you, you are not their priority... continue on your own journey. those who care will show you, those who don't, well they will too.

 17. Do you take them out to dinner, lunch, movies etc? I think this is fine.. but wait… are they calling you to do the same? Are they even calling you outside of wanting to “come though”? no?... ok well no need to go any further. He’s just not THAT into you. But I am sure there is someone else who is. Spend your time with that person and you might be surprised.

I hope you enjoyed the read!

Until next time... LOVE yourself!~ CeCe